I used to love spinning, the feel of it,
the thrill, the wind rushing into my face; I’d open my eyes wide and absorb the
world flying past me. The adrenaline and exhilaration of it was overwhelming.
When I was young, every year the company my father worked for would hire out
the local show grounds and would set up amusement rides for their Christmas
party. There was one ride called the Mexican Hat, which not only spun around
but also went up and down so you were constantly spinning going up and down and
up and down. It was fantastic at the time and I spent most of my time on that
ride, going again and again and again. I loved spinning, and amusement riders
and merry go rounds.
The thing about merry go rounds and
spinning amusement rides is that they are great fun, exhilarating,
sensational…when you are in control of it all. When you choose too participate,
when you have the option of stopping and getting off once you have had
enough. Did you ever experience the
bully at the park, who despite you screaming you wanted to get off and you were
going to hurl, laughed and spun you faster and faster, your body being pushed
against the merry go round by the increased gravity with no way to get up
because you knew you would fall and hurt yourself trying. Well this is an
example of my life figuratively and literally. A merry-go-round I have no
control of and can’t get off of.
My name is Amanda and I am a 30yo single
mother of a 12 yo son with autism, ADHD, a severe sensory processing disorder,
and severe anxiety. My life is figuratively a merry- go-round that I can’t get
off of. It is a daily battle to manage all that entails being a single mum, but
even more so having a child with a disability. Unfortunately I also have to
deal with my literal merry-go-round as I have recently been diagnosed with
Meniere.
For those who have not heard about this, it
is a vestibular (balance) disorder which official symptoms are fluctuating hearing
loss, fluctuating aural (ear) fullness or pressure, fluctuating tinnitus
(ringing in your ears) and vertigo (a feeling or visually experience where the
world spins around you).
The reason I have created this blog is not
only to share and raise awareness about this horrible silent disease, but also
to allow me to express how this disease is affecting me and allow me to keep
formal records of this experience to help with my treatment. Sure you will also
read posts about my son and the struggles of daily life and other issues my
life faces but for now, this will be about my journey with Meniere’s and
getting off the merry-go-round that is my life.
